There has been some unneeded drama in my life recently. The highs of my recent Singapore trip were replaced by a lot of heartache and tears.
My closest of friends know the reason for the negativity in my life these days. In fact, I have always felt so helpless and trapped. I cannot even share these with the people we assume will always be there to support us for the reason that they are the cause.
I have cried buckets before and thought I have run out of tears. Boy was I wrong!
I was in the middle of my cry-a-thon when one of my good friends sent me a message on Facebook about a comment on one of our photos from our Singapore trip. She made me laugh. And for a while, I forgot about how down I was feeling. Even if I didn't want to unload my problems on her, she insisted that she can be a friend who'll listen. So I spilled my guts to her. At first, she didn't say much except to urge me along with my story. However, after I have told her everything, she told me that she'll be brutally honest and let me know that I have always been a martyr and pushover when it comes to my family. She apologized for being blunt, probably fearing I might get offended. I assured her that she shouldn't apologize because she just voiced what I had been feeling all along. And she was right, 101%.
Yes, I admit that I always accommodate the wishes and decisions of my family for me. Not anymore. From then on, I said to myself that I will have to stand up for myself. That day, my friend was just the person I needed. I didn't need another lecture on how I should think of my family, or that maybe they just care so much about me. Nor did I need a friend with the usual 'okay ra na' (it will be okay). I needed that wake-up call.
My closest of friends know the reason for the negativity in my life these days. In fact, I have always felt so helpless and trapped. I cannot even share these with the people we assume will always be there to support us for the reason that they are the cause.
I have cried buckets before and thought I have run out of tears. Boy was I wrong!
I was in the middle of my cry-a-thon when one of my good friends sent me a message on Facebook about a comment on one of our photos from our Singapore trip. She made me laugh. And for a while, I forgot about how down I was feeling. Even if I didn't want to unload my problems on her, she insisted that she can be a friend who'll listen. So I spilled my guts to her. At first, she didn't say much except to urge me along with my story. However, after I have told her everything, she told me that she'll be brutally honest and let me know that I have always been a martyr and pushover when it comes to my family. She apologized for being blunt, probably fearing I might get offended. I assured her that she shouldn't apologize because she just voiced what I had been feeling all along. And she was right, 101%.
Yes, I admit that I always accommodate the wishes and decisions of my family for me. Not anymore. From then on, I said to myself that I will have to stand up for myself. That day, my friend was just the person I needed. I didn't need another lecture on how I should think of my family, or that maybe they just care so much about me. Nor did I need a friend with the usual 'okay ra na' (it will be okay). I needed that wake-up call.
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